Barre with Justine

“teaching is a daily exercise in vulnerability” ~ Parker Palmer The Courage to Teach

I believe that last week was the tipping point of the semester where I went from feeling energized and passionate about teaching to feeling a little burned out (possibly even a little weepy by the end of the week!)

Last week I taught 6 fitness classes, 1 library session, a mentorship meeting, and had 2 in-person student appointments. It wasn’t the busiest week of the term by any stretch, but it was a week when my husband was out of town and my littlest got sick and had to stay home from school on Friday. I definitely felt that I didn’t have the energy of patience that I normally would have and found myself being stressed by things that normally wouldn’t throw me off.

Have you ever taken it personally when a student gets up and walks out of your session? Or when you can see two students giggling together while you are talking? Normally, I would brush this off and be compassionate remembering that students are often dealing with so much stress outside the classroom but last week I felt more brittle and quite vulnerable trying to still talk through the material.

As the quote from Parker Palmer illustrates, getting up to teach a group of students is not an easy thing to do. I’ve mentioned this before but it’s worth repeating that, as librarians who only take short stints into the classroom, we don’t have the same relationship the Professor might have with the class. Meeting students who do not technically need to listen to a librarian (who has no control over their final grade) can make us feel even more vulnerable. Our profession is also a bit of a mystery to students – our education and skills are likely not on the minds of students as they settle in to watch a library presentation.

There is value in being vulnerable with students. I’m constantly negotiating how much of myself to share with students…maybe you do too? I’ve included the occasional picture of my children and will sometimes share my other role of a fitness instructor on campus. I love to share my favourite books and have them share their own, especially if it’s an English Literature class. I’m always interested in creating a classroom that feels warm and welcoming, so this feels very natural to me to share a little bit of my life with students.

There are times, however, when I want to just protect myself and regret sharing or trying to engage the class. I had that feeling today when I had shared a picture of my littlest playing with her toys (using the topic of kindergarten children and friendships for a Sociology class). It was a bigger class and of course a few students slipped silently out and my efforts to get some conversation going were mixed, making me second guess my efforts to connect with them! The feeling lasted until the very end of the class when I was climbing the steps out of the classroom and I made eye contact with a girl who warmly smiled and mouthed the words “Thank you!” – it was just that little moment of positivity that sparked a happier feeling that yes, it was worth the effort. ♡

We often see others through the mood we are currently in, which is definitely where I was this week and last. Be compassionate with yourself when you teach and remember that there ARE students that need you and appreciate your efforts (even if it might not be immediately apparent in the classroom!)